Goblins of Salmagundi

A new race for D&D 5e Goblins are evil, or at least mischievous, creatures, no two of whom are alike.  Skin, eye, and hair color vary as do number and arrangement of eyes, limbs, ears, mouths, etc.  Every goblin should roll on the Goblin Random Features chart (see bottom of post).  Goblins are often employed by evil wizards, because of their large numbers and lack of fear…but their equal lack of discipline makes them less than ideal as guards.

Stats: +2 Dex Size: Small (approx same as Halfling) Speed: 25 Age: Goblins reach maturity at age 3, and while max lifespan is 100+ years, average is closer to 20. Alignment: Chaotic

Foolhardy: Advantage on saves vs. Fear; Disadvantage on Wisdom checks related to prudence or patience (such as Perception checks on guard duty, but not while skulking around looking for a snack or treasure).

Goblin Nimbleness: Can move through the space of any creature at least 1 size larger

Darkvision: you can see in total darkness

Sneaky: can attempt to hide even when only obscured by a creature at least 1 size larger than you.

Languages: speak Goblin and Common.

Subraces

Gapmaw

It had better be food, ’cause I’m gonna eat it!

Ability Score Increase: Str increases by 1.

Iron Stomach: Advantage on Poison Saves and Resistance to poison.

Devour: During a grapple, you may attempt to use a Shove attack to shove the grappled creature in your mouth. Creatures so grappled may attempt to escape as usual, but the Grappled condition does not end automatically when you are incapacitated (though the next attempt to escape the grapple will succeed since you can no longer resist it), and things that move you (such as a Thunderwave spell) will move both of you instead of disrupting the grapple.

Nobonz

Sticks and stones? It is to laugh.

Ability Score Increase: Con increases by 1

Boyoyoing: Advantage on saves vs. falling and crushing.  Resistance to Bludgeoning damage.

Squeeze Through: You can move through openings as small as a key-hole.  This takes your full move (so you start and stop on either side of the opening), and the distance you can traverse while squeezing yourself through a narrow opening can be no greater than the length of one of your limbs (you have to be able to shove one of your body parts through before the rest can follow…)

Hathedz

Ability Score Increase: Cha +1

Behatted: you can (and usually do) fit your entire body except your feet into a Medium-sized creature’s hat. Any Prodigious physical features also stick out (see chart). You may also fit as much gear as you can carry unencumbered…any gear over that has to be carried outside the hat.  You may use gear and wield weapons normally, by extending your hands and arms outside while you’re using them.  The hat does not interfere with your perception.

Poker Face: you gain Advantage when trying to brazen things out (resisting Insight), but not on your own attempts to persuade.

Sneakz

Ability Score Increase: Wis +1

Nimble Escape: may take the Disengage or Hide actions as bonus actions in any turn.

Full of Attitude

Elves “If they had those sticks any farther up their butts, they’d be dryads”

Dwarves “If rocks could make beer, Dwarves would never get invited to another party.”

Halflings “Come the Revolution, they’ll be first up against the wall!”

Humans “OK, I guess.  Really, really touchy about sharing their children.  You’d think they can’t just make more.”

Goblin Personality Traits

You may roll on this instead of, or in addition to, the Personality Traits associated with your Background

1. What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine!
2. That looks edible/drinkable/humpable!
3. Boom!  Hahahaha!
4. Pull my finger!
5. I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him and call him George!
6. Gee, it never hurts to help!
7. What’s the matter?  You wanna live forever?
8. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Goblin Random Features

Roll d20

1. Scaly skin (roll d8 randomly for ROYGBIV, reroll twice and you’re spotted/checked/striped/plaid)
2. Prodigous feature (counts as Tool):
   1. Ears
   2. Eyes
   3. Nose
   4. Lips
   5. Hands
   6. Arms (extremely long and bendy, not beefy)
   7. Legs (extremely long and froglike)
   8. Feet
   9. Hair
   10. Tail
   11. Gut
   12. Genitals
3. Hairy to the point no other features visible
4. 1d4 extra (on a 4 re-roll and add), arranged (1-3 Symmetrically, 4-Asymmetrically):
   1. Eyes
   2. Ears
   3. Noses
   4. Arms
   5. Legs
   6. Mouths
5. Tiny fanged mouth on the tip of a serpentine tongue.
6. Big sad puppy eyes.
7. Webbed fingers and toes. And arms. And legs.
8. Sloughing leprous skin.
9. Second Head
10. Part creature:
    1. spider
    2. bird
    3. shark
    4. bear
    5. monkey
    6. bat
    7. wolf
    8. horse
    9. goat
    10. choose
11. Part random element
    1. fire
    2. water
    3. ice
    4. air
    5. dark
    6. Earth
12. Fur (random ROYGBIV)
13. Can climb walls like a gecko or spider
14. Antennae
15. Big butterfly wings
16. Blind, uses sonar to identify targets.
17. Two hearts (gets an extra save vs. Dying before expiring at 0 HP)
18. Is much larger than the average goblin (counts as Medium instead of Small)
19. Is much smaller than the average goblin (counts as Very Small)
20. Has styled its hair
    1. dreads,
    2. mohawk,
    3. “horns”,
    4. greaser pomp,
    5. slickback,
    6. “the Bieber”.