but because it should be recorded for posterity, Scott recently broke his personal best record for shortest lived character when (in our friend Mac’s D&D game on Saturday) his character was PK-ed before the adventure even began. For some reason shortly after Scott’s character introduced himself Walter became suspicious of him and cast Know Alignment; upon finding out that Scott’s character was evil–I almost said Scott was evil, but that goes without saying–Walter and Mike refused to go adventuring with him. After a bunch of pointless argument, Scott’s character drew his dagger and had at Walter’s character, and a couple melee rounds later Scott’s character’s head was rolling around on the tavern floor.
Scott was understandably a bit miffed at this, and I have to confess that I was a bit puzzled, since I had thought that there was an unwritten group rule to the effect that players weren’t allowed to refuse to go adventuring with other players’s characters over something as trivial as alignment. I had certainly felt compelled by Mac and the group to continue to adventure with Rachel’s character Polly when she was obviously ripping off the party in her dealing with her criminal family (and my character was easily smart enough to figure it out)–granted when Polly died nobody expressed any great remorse or suggested that we try to figure out a way to raise her, but that seemed to be the extent of the reaction against her character’s actual transgressions. Why Scott’s new character’s alignment was such a sticking point I really don’t know; in fact, now that I think about it the same group had been happy enough to adventure with my previous (now deceased) character, who was also evil. Maybe the only difference was that they didn’t realize that my character was supposed to be evil, since he didn’t live long enough to do anything bad.
Of course, at that point, neither had Scott’s character. Interestingly enough, though Scott insists that he wasn’t playing the character as obviously evil and halfway suspected Walter of using Out-Of-Character knowledge in deciding to cast the Know Alignment spell, my character simply presumed that Scott’s character was evil but just didn’t care. I’m not actually sure why I supposed that, since I know that I didn’t have any OOC knowledge; either it was something about Scott’s manner, or maybe it was just that he got along with Rachel’s character….
More quotes
(Because I want to get this little piece of paper out of my life…)
They prefer to be known as “Americans of Necrosis”. — Scott
I am Cornholio Kobold! I need TP for my bunghole! — Fitch the manic kobold
I will sing an irresistible Kobold love song! — Fitch the androgynous kobold
What if it’s infinite because it’s fractal? — Josh, on Infinite City
Then we stab you! (*chuckle, chuckle!*) — Scott, on Josh
I have healed the building with cleansing fire! — Doug
Why Bandits Are Not Generally Renowned As Theologians
I’d just like to point out that James Jadwin’s analysis of the situation in which his Deadlands party finds itself (as reported by his player Scott) rests on his unquestioning reliance on what is technically hearsay.
Thoughts on World Destroying
The Deadlands Adventurer’s group will forever be known as the party that destroyed the universe. Really. Here I intend to explore some of the theological ramifications of this turn of events.
For those of you who haven’t been keeping track, our Sunday night Deadlands campaign took a nasty turn when we discovered that an Evildoer(tm) was building some kind of doomsday clock that would destroy the world. As we were led to understand, if the clock ran down, the world would end.
So after careful investigative work (which my character James Jadwin predominantly did at the local whorehouse), we tracked down the Evildoer and her clock to an abandoned mine. There’s the clock—sitting still except for one whirring gear. You might as well have painted a bullseye on it, Josh!
I am relieved to say that I didn’t fire the fatal shot. Which is not to say that I wouldn’t have, perhaps. Our Mormon character Cal (played by Paul) took aim, tossed in his blue chip for good luck, and fired before we could do much of anything. My first inclination had actually been to shoot at the Evildoer and her minions, figuring that the clock itself could wait. But Cal’s shot was true, and the clock stopped, destroying the entire universe.
Now, hindsight is 20/20, but when I think about it, I still don’t think that Cal’s actions were all that unreasonable. The threat as we understood it was if the clock were to run down. What better way to prevent the clock from running down than from stopping it prematurely. Think about it—the ticking clock cliche is that when the clock reaches a fixed time, something explodes. The way to prevent this is to stop the clock, or pull the wire to the detonator, or something equally silly. This is best done with one second to spare. But in general, you WANT to stop the clock one way or another. Cal and the rest of us can hardly be held culpable for assuming that the Doomsday Clock would work this way.
After the End-Of-The-World-As-We-Know-It, our party found ourselves in another universe, which we eventually discovered was ruled by a goddess named Althea. All of us except Sor Teresa, that is, who wound up going to Christian Heaven. Here’s where things get weird. First, Althea actually appears to us—something the Christian god in the universe we just destroyed had never bothered to do, even when we were on the brink of destroying all of creation. Then she’s afraid that we will destroy her world as well, and we are politely ejected from this universe.
Next thing you know, Sor Teresa is back from heaven as an Avenging Angel or some other weird shit, telling us that God is giving us a second chance, and wants us to reconstitute his universe. We’re given time-travelling clocks to make the job easier. Although the full mechanics aren’t clear to me yet, it sounds as if we we’re supposed to be gathering occult artifacts which we will use to make a barrier around the abandoned mine, containing the explosion.
A whole slew of nasty theological questions has arisen:
1) What kind of God would make a universe that is so easily destrotyed by a .22 slug?
2) Having destroyed said universe, why would this God trust the very people who destroyed it to put it back together?
3) Why does God need us to put the universe back together? Can’t God just do it himself?
4) Why are we playing along with God’s plan? God clearly isn’t who he claimed to be—not the only god, apparently, not omnipotent, and definitely not very wise.
My character James Jadwin was never a very pious fellow to begin with. However, I find his attitudes taking a strange turn. Now on the one hand he knows that there really is a God. On the other, God is a bumbler, and not very awe-inspiring. Should we succeed in putting the universe back together, I wonder if we can have a final showdown with the Big Guy himself.
Parenthetical note: Did I mention that in the course of recovering one of the artifacts (an obsidian blade), our party accidentally committed a human sacrifice on one of the natives? And that this allowed us to recover the artifact in a very straightforward manner? But that is a story for a different time.
The Rambling Bumblers
Scott complains that my characterization of the group currently in the Spice Islands as the “Rambling Bumblers” is harsh. Well, it may be harsh, but the epithet isn’t mine: “Rambling Bumblers” is what Wendy’s been calling the group since the fiasco in the “Pandora’s Box” dimension. If the group would like to pick an official name for that campaign, I’m open to suggestions.
Notable Quotes
Tell me I’m going to hell – James Jadwin, requesting a bit of roleplaying on the part of the working girl at the local cathouse, whom he’s first had dress in a nun’s habit…
Jou are goin’ to hell, jou know – Sor. Theresa’s favorite phrase
Demons always operate without a permit – Sor. Theresa
Freakin’ Benjamin Franklin shit! – Paul
You’ll find me at the bar, engaged in a round of “Scrub the poop-deck, you drunken Darbi” – Zobar
Touch my substance! – Magmar
The trunk is booby-trapped, and despite my nimbleness, I appear to be a booby. – “Fingers”
You can have some Raspberry Death Twist – Rachel
We should let evil people do what they want – Doug
Yes, but I can’t steal, so someone else will have to take these things – Sor. Theresa
I want to offer those sailors my services – Amos the Greater
As the only person in this room likely to actually invent a time machine… – Scott
This is the 4th or 5th time tonight that the phrase “Everybody did” or “Everybody does” can be translated as “Doug did” – Scott
Well, generally there’s violence involved…and then some sailing – Seth the Lesser
I actual have a 4 in camping skill, so bite my ass! – Rachel
The Neng Campaigns
I currently have several campaigns set in Neng, although they have varying degrees of frequency.
Russell has a two characters Carlys eal Tharstorr and Salaomer ein Ringoral (who drop in on the other campaigns when he’s available generally once or twice a year); when one of us visits the other, we usually get in a solo adventure for one of them.
The Rose Tower campaign is the one that my Sunday group played for about two years, before we decided to put in on hiatus. One of our players (Rob Barrett) left, and three new ones joined (Scott Oser, Rachel Hartmann, and Mike DeSanto) and there seemed to me to be a real divide between the characters who had been adventuring together all along and the new characters; the campaign was big on politics and continuity with past events, and the newer characters tended to not have the ties that the others did and the players tended not to know what was going on unless someone stopped and explained it to them frequently. I thought it would be best to start everyone with new characters, at least until the new players got “caught up” enough on world events and developed enough of a backstory not to be put in the shade by the established characters.
The Rambling Bumblers campaign was the result of the decision I mentioned; the characters all started as students attending the same boarding school in Neng, although they were free to leave and adventure after that. The Rambling Bumblers was the name the group gave to itself after its first couple of adventures in alternate dimensions led to horrible, horrible things happening in those dimensions. I had meant for the dimension hopping to be a short diversion, and give all the players an equal footing as far as knowing the history of the place; in retrospect, it was a mistake, and afterwards they never really fit into the Neng setting, plus they developed a bad habit of running away from any trouble they stirred up–generally to a new dimension. They are currently semi-stranded in the Spice Islands, far to the south of Neng proper, and since Rachel and Scott are leaving for Canada at the end of the summer, if we continue with Neng we may revert to the Rose Tower campaign.
The Campaigns
| Campaign | System | GM | Status |
| The Rose Tower | FUDGE | Joshua | Hiatus |
| Rambling Bumblers | FUDGE | Joshua | Current |
| The Sun Also Rises | Exalted | Paul | Current |
| ClockStoppers | Deadlands | Joshua | Current |
| Millenium City | Homebrew | Mike | Defunct |
| Infinite City | D&D3E | Joshua | New |
| Fallout | Faded Suns(?) | Doug | Defunct |
| Camelot 1999 | Nobilis | Rob | Never Got Started |
| Hack Em Up! | Hackmaster | Joshua | Defunct |
| Dende | D&D3E | Joshua | Defunct |
